I miss my dad and brother today. I miss them most days - but today, I'm really feeling it. There are so many things I'm going to need the "heavy muscle" for once my husband has his surgery....and his family is fantastic and would pitch in anytime we needed them...without a doubt.
But it's just not the same as having my daddy and my big brother around. Whenever I'm with them, they make me feel safe - to sound like my (still) teenage stepdaughter - "they've got my back". And I don't feel as awkward asking... They're my dad and brother, they'd be there the instant I called - just as I would for them.
I guess that's more a me thing. I just don't like asking for help. I want to be able to do everything on my own....and when I can't, I'm really uncomfortable asking. When the shoe is on the other foot and a friend needs help, I'm honored when they ask. But for some reason, I just don't like asking for myself. I guess I feel more comfortable asking my family because they've known me forever...and despite our normal fights and troubles along the way, I'm sure of their unconditional love. This is not to say that my husband's family doesn't love me...we're just not there in our relationship yet. It's still sort of new. I don't want to trouble them with things...
This tendency of mine has been a hard thing for my husband and I to work through. He has this thing about me doing certain things around the house - anything "manly" like hanging things on the wall, mowing the yard, weed eating. It can drive me nuts. He just doesn't like me doing it. And me, I'm used to doing it all. It may not be how HE does it, but it gets done. I thought for the longest time it was that he didn't trust me (and when it comes to hanging things, he doesn't **rolling my eyes**). But really, the issue was that those were things that he felt like HE should be doing - not his wife. It's part of his "this is my family and I'll care for them" mentality.
Anyway - as I mentally listed the things to do in the coming months this weekend, I thought, "man, I really, really wish I had *my* boys here.
On a lighter note...we had a fantastic weekend with our family. We got to hang out on Saturday night with everyone and on Sunday with my sister in law and her 10 month little one for a photoshoot with Uncle Jimmy. As soon as I have pictures to post of that, I will - they're adorable!
And on a pregnancy note...suddenly and without warning, major heartburn.
Tums...they're my new friend.