Thursday, January 13, 2011

Snips & Snails

~*~ Edit: I wrote this over 2 months ago, with the intention of uploading some photos and posting. That obviously didn't happen, so I'll share it with you and try to keep up better with my blog~*~

I've never been very good at keeping up on Madelyn's Love Letters....and I suspect that now that I have two children, it's not going to be any better....

But I have thoughts rumbling in my head I wanted to put on paper, so to speak.  So here's my first love letter to William.

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails
That's what little boys are made of !"

My dearest little William.  I'll admit when I looked at the sonogram screen and realize I was growing a boy, I was flabberasted.  It's not as though I didn't realize it was just didn't seem likely.  Your dad makes girls!  So I was floored.  And overwhelmed.  Girls I know.  Girls I can deal with.  They are sugar and spice and everything nice...and being a girly girl myself, I'm all over that.
But boys?  What do I do with a boy?
And everyone kept telling me I'd get it.  And truthfully, I didn't believe them.  I didn't ever believe I could be nearly as good a mama to a boy as to a girl.
And you know what I've realized in the last 20 days?  You and me?  We're going to be like peas and carrots....because while Madelyn is my emotional mini me and I will spend a lot of time teaching her how to harness her spirit to serve her, you were put on this earth to ease my soul.
Already you are my peaceful child.
Already when I hold you, I feel confident and accomplished.  I don't stress.  I know what I'm doing and I'm doing a good job.
Part of that is me.  I've been around this block and around it with a newborn that gave me a run for my money.  She cried.  A LOT.  She was difficult to sooth.  Her tummy hurt her all the time and that made for a very stressed out mama.
But you?  Okay - so you don't suck very well and we're pumpng exclusively again.  But this time, God was kind and 3 pumps a day gives me enough milk to feed you for the day and a bit more for the freezer.  That's not how it was with your sister or I wouldn't be doing this again.
You?  You're calm.  You love to just lay in my arms and watch the world, when you're not sleeping that is.  And that sleeping bit?  It's a blessing.  Your sister didn't do much of that as a newborn or a young infant and it nearly drove your mama to the brink of insanity.  But not sleep.  Not always when I want you to - but enough that I can sleep a bit too.

I cannot express in words how in love with you I am, my beautiful, perfect little man.