Monday, July 14, 2008

Pit Stops

I have an unreasonable fear of public restrooms.

There, I typed it outloud. I can't stand public restrooms. They always make me feel skeevy and dirty and I don't like them. I'm embarrassed to use them. I know, it's absolutely crazy...everyone "does" it - so why should I be embarrassed? I have no idea. At work, if there is anyone in the restroom, I'll leave until none of the stalls are occupied. But I've realized this strategy isn't going to work so well for the duration of my pregnancy.

Take, for example, this last Friday. I had my twelve week doctor's appointment. It went really well! The spud (or spudette) was alive and kicking and moving around. My doctor is convinced it's a girl because of the extremely high heart rate. Part of me is praying she's right...but I still gotta go with my gut. I won't lie, I'll be happy with any healthy baby, but I wouldn't mind so much if it was a little girl :)

At any rate, I digress. When I arrived at my doctor's office, the receptionist advised me to go weigh myself and test my urine. Once you've been instructed how to do it with the little dipsticks, each patient monitors their urine for blood sugar and protein. However, I haven't been taught how to use those little dipsticks. I told the receptionist this, but she said to go ahead and pee and leave it in a cup in the bathroom and the nurse would show me how.

Okay...dilemma #1 - you want me to pee in a cup and leave it in the restroom for all the world to see? Uhhh...okay.... So, redfaced I come out of the bathroom and wait for my nurse. In the meantime, someone used the restroom and dumped my cup! Yikes! Dilemma #2 - someone else was touching my pee cup! I am not so comfortable with this! We proceed with the appointment and the nurse shows me what to do and asks me to try again after the doctor has seen me. So, I down the rest of the 1 liter bottle of water I had with me and pray for the best. Unfortunately, Mother Nature didn't work so quickly. Dilemma #3 - I am now in the doctor's office restroom, with a waiting line, trying to get myself to pee. That was a serious no go. Not only did the water not have enough time, but I've got a shy bladder...there's no way I'm going to be able to pee with other pregnant women who *really have to go* standing outside of the door waiting!

So much for knowing if my blood surgar was high or if I've got too much protein in my system.

Dilemma #4: I've now had quite a bit of water to drink and I've got errands to run and I'm across town from my house. So, in order to use my own restroom, I'd have to waste the time (and gas!) to run back home. Here's where the practical side of me wins out. I realize that I'm being stupid - and praying that I can get all of my errands done before Mother Nature works her magic. I wasn't so lucky. And I'm forced to use another public restroom. Twice. Ugh.

Fast forward to Sunday. My husband left to go windsurfing for the week (which really sucks, because he's on vacation without me, the bum! I hate that he has twice as much vacation as I do!) and so I decided to escape the heat at the mall. I went shopping for maternity tops. I could get by without them, but my favorite shirts are starting to be a wee bit too short in the front, so I'm constantly tugging at them, trying to pull them over my burgeoning belly. And I must add that the lovely plethora of plus size clothing for pregnant women is a topic for an entirely different post. To put it bluntly, it sucks!

However, I find myself in the same situation. I can't be out all afternoon without drinking my water like a good little pregnant lady. But drinking water means Mother Nature is going to kick in at some point. You guessed it, I had to use another public restroom. Twice. Again. Double Ugh.

And it was at this point, as I was walking away from the second pit stop that I realized this is only the first of them many humiliations that go along with being pregnant. And as much fun as this all is (and it is!)....pregnancy isn't for the shy bladdered!


jehan said...

I admit, I share your dislike of public restrooms! I have been known to wait to the point of pain, just to avoid them. I also have a neurotic mental list of public restrooms that are ok in places I visit often, and I will only use those ones. It took me many years and serious desperation before I used a restroom on a plane! So if I ever am pregnant, I think I will have some work ahead of me :)