Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I Agree (or do I?)

I don't know if it's blogger netiquette to do this, so I want to say that I did not write what is below, it is a direct link from a Blog I read fairly often. This was today's post - and it spoke to my heart so clearly - I wanted to spread the word....but then I got to thinking....

How does this affect the Pro Choice movement? It would certainly provide a lot of ground for Right to Life attorneys. It takes us down a slippery slope of defining what is a life, unborn, and what is not. Some of my dear friends and readers would say, "GOOD! We need to go down that road!" But some of my dear friends and readers would not.

Have I changed my opionion on this issue? I've always been such a staunch supporter of the Pro Choice movement. I never wanted to force others to choose based on my own personal beliefs. I don't want to go back to back alley coat hanger abortions. No matter how much education we get out there about options, no matter what is said or done, women who are desperate are going to resort to that should abortion be criminalized again. I don't want to see that happen.

But, make no mistake about it, when I miscarried, I lost my baby. I lost somthing that had a beating heart and was alive, albeit inside me, but that baby was alive. At least, that's what my heart believes. And I can tell you, I never in a million years thought I would know that feeling. But I do, and I can't take it back.

So where do we go with something like this? How do we recognize such loss as being legitimate, which is what I think most people are after? I don't think I have all of the answers - but I do know that I wish I had something - anything - that said, "yes...this baby was yours and it was here, and now it's gone - and you have ever right to grieve."


No flames please, I know this is a controversial topic....I offer it up for your consideration and thought, not for your anger if you don't agree.

You can read the Blog at: http://www.lilsugar.com/ (http://www.lilsugar.com/1715258 for the exact blog post).

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There's nothing harder than losing a child. But, what about the devastation parents endure when their baby dies in utero? When I came across a post on Jezebel about the politics behind getting grieving parents stillborn birth certificates, I was aghast that just 23 states offer the families more than a death certificate.
A recent report in the New York Post, talked about the current bill that advocates hope will pass in the Big Apple. Outside of City Hall, one New Yorker shared his story. He said:
"The first time I held my son, Daniel, was the single saddest moment of my life," said Staten Islander Jeff Tieger, whose first child was stillborn on Feb. 8, 2007. ". . . Not another minute should go by before [this bill] is passed."
His raw words reminded me of a heart wrenching piece that former San Francisco Chronicle reporter, Suzanne Pullen wrote about the experience of delivering her first child who had passed away. She said:
You don't plan for the doctor to tell you your future has no heartbeat. You don't plan to deliver a baby who will never open his eyes. You don't plan on coming home with an urn of ashes instead of a bag of diapers. Before my son died, I had every hope -- and worry -- of being a good mother.
It's these emotions that make one wonder why national legislation has not been passed.

3 comments:

Lisa E said...

Excellent point, sweetie. It makes me want to send more hugs your way. :-)

Who Needs Patience? said...

Hey, i just wanted to say thanks for the congrats and your post on my blog made me smile!!! i loved the EEEKKK!!! thats exactly how I feel!!

Angie

Dr. Joanne Cacciatore said...

Thank you for posting this. If people are interested in this issue, and if they are going to comment on it, they should be well-informed, they can visit: http://www.missingangelsbill.org.

This is not advocating for a Certificate of Birth OR Certificate of LIVE Birth.

It is for a CERTIFICATE OF BIRTH RESULTING IN STILLBIRTH.

It is very important to so many women.

Thank you for posting this again, and I'm so sorry for your loss.