Sweet William

My sweet, sweet boy....

I just can't tell you how much I love you.  Yes, I'm the cheesy mother that's going to post about how much she loves her son.  I talk about how much I love Madelyn all the time.  Heck, I was worried I couldn't *possibly* love anyone as much as I loved her.

But I do...I love you to the moon and back.

And you've had a rough go of it in the past few months.  You took me by surprise with that.  You were so quiet and calm and peaceful and honestly, I think that's your nature.  I've probably jinxed myself by typing that...but I do.  But we had a rough patch of it about when you turned 3 months.

You'd been sleeping pretty darn well and were starting to coo back and forth with me.  You were holding your head up really well.  You would snuggle up with me at night and didn't need me to swaddle you. You were drinking your bottles so well and I was keeping way ahead of you (go me!).  You didn't nap on a consistent basis during the day - but overall, you were getting a lot of sleep.

I wrote in your baby book (which I've been *terrible* about keeping up, I'm sorry m'boy) on the 13th of January that you were getting a bad case of cradle cap.  By the time we went to Papa and Gigi's to visit, your scalp was just one big mass of ickyness and it was starting to come down onto your face.  You'd rub your eyes till your forhead was raw.  You were getting terrible spots on your body.  You'd cry and cry.  You wouldn't sleep.

And we couldn't figure out where my happy baby went!  We went back and forth to your doctor's office (and she is awesome - you don't like her much because she is the self professed "baby torturer" by messing with your ears and giving you shots...but she's so good with you and with me too).  At first, we thought it was an ear infection that was causing you distress and just normal cradle cap and possibly that you had eczema.  I found out that your great grandfather had it - so that made sense. 

We treated it and your ears got better, but nothing else did.  It was getting worse.

So, I took you to a dermatologist.  He is a very nice guy but what he had us do wasn't working and you continued to get worse.

Then, we put you on sensitive formula because your dad and I were starting to think maybe the gassiness you had (and boy did you have it) was really bothering you.  That did nothing for you.

Then our dishwasher leaked and we had to have the house dehumidified.  And things REALLY got bad that week....  And we chalked up the serious eczema to the dehumidifier.  Only when they were gone, things didn't get any better.

Finally, we put you on soy formula.  That didn't really help much, but when I put you back on breastmilk things got really, really bad.  You cried non stop.  It broke my heart.  You were exhausted but you wouldn't sleep.  I can see in your eyes during that period of pictures how very tierd you were.

So your pediatrician had us put you on a hypoallergenic formula and we took you to an allergist.  The trip to the allergist was one of the worst experiences I've had as a mother.  The allergist was great, but your skin was so blotchy we couldn't do a patch test.  So, we had to draw your blood.  Only, the lab we used wasn't specialized for children.   I will never do that again.  Never.  You started crying when you saw the needle.  I don't know how you knew, but you puckered up the second you saw it.  Then, the tech couldn't find your vein and while I had to hold you down, she dug in your arm.  I know how much that hurts as an adult.  Having your scream and look into my eyes was pure torture.  She found it just about the time I was going to deck her.  I don't ever want to repeat that experience.

Turns out you have a milk protein intolerance and you're allergic to peanuts.

Nuts, my little peanut.  I eat a lot of nuts.  So, we're armed with the formula and an epi pen while I try to figure out what we're going to feed you instead of PB&J.  I'm praying you're one of the 20% that outgrows it and we'll retest you at a year old and every year after that.  I'm hoping I can use all the milk I have banked in 7 months....

After a week and a half on the formula, you're like a different baby.  You're happy again.  You're sleeping so much better.  You are still a cat napper during the day and you wake at least one or twice during the night - but it's not every hour and half.  It takes me awhile to get you down for good - but all in all, it's fairly smooth.

You still sleep in our room in your co-sleeper.  I really don't want to move you.  I will at some point, I'm sure...but I don't want to.  I like peeking at you in the middle of the night.  I like hearing you breath.  I like kissing your head.  You're already getting so big, I don't want to miss any of it.  Your sister is not a snuggler - I'm hoping you're different and want to snuggle with your mama.  I'm already looking forward to building forts in your room and Madelyn and you and I having slumber parties on a Friday when Daddy is at work.

You talk to me all the time.  You coo and I coo and you coo back...it's precious.

You smile all the time....and now you giggle.  You giggle when your Daddy talks to you.  You giggle when your sister plays with you.  You giggle when I squeeze your belly.

On your 5 month birthday, you really started rolling from your back to your tummy.  You'd done it the first time at the end of February, but hadn't really done it again.  On Sunday, you couldn't stop!  Each time you would look at me like, "what in the heck just happened?!?!"

You've started reaching out for things with your hands.  You love to chew on your "Mister Star" (it was your sister's favorite too).  You are reach for the car seat toys I have above you.  You LOVE to hold your bottle....the look in your eyes when it's coming at you is priceless....and you reach up for it.

You are starting to enjoy being put in the exesaucer. You weren't so sure about that at first, but you're starting to like it.  I have to laugh though, the first time we put you in it at 4 months, you could bounce yourself up and down on the lowest setting.  Your sister couldn't even touch the ground at the same age and setting.  We had to put books under her feet.  You've got the advantage of weight on your side.

You've started trying to scout yourself forward when you're on your tummy.

I love the smell of you.

I love to nibble your little cheeks.

I love that you're my constant companion.  You think life is good no matter what we're doing, as long as I'm holding you.

I love the way you stare at your Daddy waiting for him to look at you and how you grin when he does.

I really wish we could bath you more.  We don't because it's hard on your skin.  I hope you love the water as much as your sister does.  Sometimes I take you into the shower with me after your sister has gone to bed....you just need a bit of a water bath and you stay warmer when the room is steamy.  I love how squishy you feel.  You've got the squishiest baby thighs and tush.

You're starting to get really curious about what we eat at dinner time.  We'll try solids soon and I can't decide whether to start you on oatmeal or sweet potatos.  Your Daddy votes for applesauce.

I still keep you swaddled....I don't know when we'll break that.  You fight it at first, but honestly, you rub your eyes till their just raw if I don't.  I'm hoping as time goes on you'll get over that.

You've really started to interact with your sister.....she'll try to make you laugh and you'll giggle.  This eggs her on and then she'll giggle...which makes you giggle even more.  I love the sound of my children laughing.

I could stare at you all day long. Really, I could.  Who wouldn't want to when you look at this face...