Love Letter #3

My baby, my baby, my baby....
You turned three months old today! (Or at least, when I started writing this...it may take me a couple of days to post).

And you turned over from your tummy to your back for the very first time tonight!!!! You did it over and over again when we were having tummy time. Daddy and I are so proud of you!
Every day you are a joy to us. Sometimes we're exhausted in that joy - but as your Doctor's nurse put it this week, you are a site for sore eyes. I just want to snuggle you up every second I see you.

This last month has been a big month for you. You went to Idaho for the first time. You did so well on the plane, I was really, really proud of you! You barely cried and were very good. The biggest problem was those darn TSA agents. They can make getting through security with a baby a little bit hard.

You played really well with your Nana and your Gigi and Papa. They love you so much...it's crazy. You met Auntie Bree and Uncle Drew and Cousin Carson. You and Carson really hit it off...you were mesmerized by him and he thought you were pretty cute.

We had lots of food challenges this month. You were having green poop (yes, I talk about your poop, but I promise I won't do that when you're older or in front of your friends) and the doctor thought you might be allergic to my breastmilk, so we went on formula. After four weeks, that didn't chance anything so we're back on breastmilk. I hope it works because there's lots of stored breastmilk in the freezer! It's hard work pumping all that milk. Someday when you have kids, if you choose to, there may be a different attitude, but right now there is a lot of pressure to breastfeed. I'm really sad that didn't work out for you and me, kiddo. It would have been a lot easier. I'm not always sure how long I can keep up this pumping. I feel like it takes a lot of time away from you and I playing together (or me sleeping when you're sleeping). But know that I sure did try and I've spent a lot of time trying to do what's best for you.

You've had a tougher time sleeping in the last week or so as well. I don't know if it's going back on the breastmilk or if you're going through a growth spurt...but you've started waking up again several times a night. Man alive, that's hard on Mama. It makes me one grumpy butt the next day. I'm working really hard to get you on some routine. I started reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby, but it stresses me out! It has me letting you cry it out for some period of time and I'm just no good at doing that. I can't listen to you cry and not respond to you - it just isn't in my nature. We're going to keep working on that...I worry about when I go back to work and how our routine is going to be. Heck, I worry about that in general. Daddy and I need for me to go back to work so that we keep saving money for a rainy day (and you'll learn in your history books some day that this a rainy period in our nation's economy), but I don't look forward to being away from you, early mornings, and not seeing Daddy as much. You and I will both have to get up too early....and we *love* Auntie Jenni, but it's hard for me to know she'll get more of your waking hours than I will. ::::sigh:::: Sometimes I wish that Mama had three of her...the one that works, the one that cleans house and cooks dinner, and the one that plays with her baby and her honey.

It's morning now and you're taking your first nap of the day - it came quickly after you woke up, only an hour and a half. Daddy just got home and I'm glad he doesn't work tonight so he can see you when you wake up. You just love your Daddy so much, you light up when he's in the room. You and he play really, really well together. When he talks to you and you're eating your bottle, you try and eat and smile at the same time. It's really quite precious, but then again, I think you are pretty precious!

I can't wait for you to wake up from your nap. I want to try some more tummy time and watch you roll over. I want to keep working on your hand coordination. You've gotten pretty good at playing with your Mr. Star if I put him in your hands. Just this morning when I read your Mr. Turtle and Friends book to you, you reach out when we got to the page with the crab. The book makes crinkly noises, which you love and each page has a different textured material on it. Mostly you just look at it while I read it to you (and I've got the darned thing memorized by now... "Swimming fish with shiny scales are fleeing from alarming whale. A lake's too big for whale to roam, that's why he makes the sea his home."). But this morning you reached out and ran your hand on the crab. Yea!! You really are growing in there!

You've started reacting when I put you on your changing table. I tend to change you there before bed and you've decided you don't like it so much. You still like your mobile, but it takes you longer to settle down and realize it's there. You haven't been enjoying your Moby wrap as well either. That might partly be because I use it more when you're awake and less in an effort to get you to sleep. I'm trying to get you to sleep in your bedroom during nap time. So, no Moby. You don't like being confined as much when you're awake. You're still not strong enough to hold your head up indefinitely - so I have to tuck you into the Moby tight. You don't like that as much as you like laying on the floor and kicking your legs.

And man...what a kicker you are. You have been since you developed legs in the womb. Kick kick kick! I think you're either going to be a dancer or a swimmer the way you're always moving those legs. When we put you into your high chair while we eat dinner, you kick the foot tray so hard, sometimes I 'm afraid you'll kick it off and fall right out. I've started strapping you in just in case! You don't like the straps so much - you don't like them on your car seat either. You are happy in either seat as long as you aren't strapped in.

This next month you should grow and grow! I can't wait to see what you learn next. As the weather gets warmer, we can take more walks outside and learn about trees and leaves and flowers. You're going to meet Auntie Lory from Canada and just a little after your fourth month birthday, cousin Brody will be here.

You are so precious, from your head to your toes, Mama loves just every bit of you. Thank you for coming to us and letting us love you. Please always remember what a gift you are...