Count Down

Well...I have to say, sometimes it helps to just throw what you're thinking out there into the Blogosphere - especially when you forget that there are certain people that pay attention to your blog and can help make you feel a bit better about frustrations you are having.


It's good to know that sometimes someone is watching out for you and cares about you. :)


I haven't posted in some time, and the majority of that has been being nearly 9 months pregnant and so worn out at the end of the day that the last thing I want to do is sit down and write a blog.


But, we have been busy around here...we've attended two baby classes thus far and have Maddy's room all ready. We have a few last minute things that we (I mean I) want to get and have waiting...medicines my girlfriends or the nurses have recommended to have on hand, etc.


Thankfully, I have the next two weeks off and will have an opportunity to get those last minute things done. It's time to pack the hospital bag, wash all of Maddy's new born clothes, stock up on food for Georgie, install the car seat bases, and start baking casseroles! That's my big task for the Christmas and New Year's break - cook and freeze, cook and freeze.


But as for those two baby classes we've gone to - one was a weekend long Childbirth Prep class and one was a Newborn Care class.


Jim will be honestly, he didn't *really* want to go to either class, but especially not the class that was the WHOLE weekend....and he says it was a waste of time, but I think he says that just to get my goat, because at our last Doc's visit, he was asking good questions and understood what she was telling us. And I've noticed that he's started using some of the techniques we talked about to help make me feel better when I'm having a rough, "I don't feel good" moment. So...it was far from a waste of time. I don't think he knows how important that is to me - that he get what's going to be happening as much as I get it. Especially because he wants to be the only one in the room when the pushing starts.And ya'll know me, I'm of the "the more informed you are, the better off you are" variety....the unknown drives me insane, so it was good for me to go and be able to ask questions, not just read a book (and I do lots of that too!)


And speaking of actual childbirth preparations...the baby class scared me into thinking that perhaps it's best to do this completely naturally - no drugs at all. The instructor was great - but she was obviously very much focused on the side of natural child birth. She read us a lot of statistics about how mothers who use pain medications (i.e. epidurals or narcotics) end up with C-sections because of their inability to push. YIKES! That is my biggest fear - an epidural. I talked to my doctor and she agreed that it can happen, but that she was pretty laid back, she'd let things go a long time before she'd be forceful about suggesting a C section. So....I'm going to go into it open to whatever it takes, but attempting to go the distance without any drugs. We'll see how it goes.


To help myself through that - I've been listening to some hypo birth CDs....and I have to say, they're pretty relaxing. I don't know how relaxing they'll be when I'm having contractions, but it's worth a shot. Jim is really supportive, he wanted to do it this way all along....so we've been practicing our labor positions, talking a lot about what he can do to help, etc.


I'm still naturally nervous - but it'll all work out in the end, even if I'm begging for the drugs and I don't have time to get them, centuries of woman have done this, I can do it too :)


The other class we have been to is the Newborn Prep class. I was glad we went, I got to ask a lot of good questions and get some good suggestions - and I have to say, I was proud of my boy, he's an excellent diaper changer (even though he thinks he's not going to change any...riiiiiiight) and an even BETTER swaddler. He's really good at it! And he's also really good at the "tummy" hold they recommend to help sooth babies with a gassy tummy...better at it than me! So....I see some tummy time coming Daddy's way ;)


Other than that....we've just been trying to lay low and take care of the minute stuff I mentioned. We got our stroller - yea! Installed our infant car seat bases - yea! Jim's diligently washing all of Maddy's newborn items for me...just the final prep stuff. And life got a lot easier when we decided to lay low on Christmas this year. I didn't even decorate. That's sooooo unlike me, but I didn't want to have to put it all away in two weeks, I knew I wouldn't have the energy. I don't even think I'm going to get a Christmas card/letter out to anyone this year. Again....lame....but I just haven't had the energy.


Anyhoots....the countdown is on, I have 32 more days until my due date - not that she wouldn't come early or late....but realistically, since they won't let you go more than 2 weeks over due, I have at most 46 more days I'll be carrying this little girl around. Part of me is excited to not be pregnant anymore - but I have to be honest, outside of the constant back ache, lack of good sleep, and rib pain, I love having her there. I love it when she moves....especially if I start talking to her or Jimmy starts talking to her...that's pretty cool.



And now that she's the size of a honeydew melon, if she moves, I feel it - there ain't much room there!


Your baby, now as hefty as a honeydew melon at 5 1/4 pounds, doesn't have much room to maneuver in your belly. (Length: more than 18 inches, headto heel.)

Frustrated Spirit

Have you ever really wanted to succeed at something you were asked to do? It's something that's a huge opportunity for you and you want to do well. You want to prove that you're capable of more than you've been asked to do before.

But for reasons that have nothing to do with you, you aren't getting anywhere. There are outside influences that control the amount of time you have to devote to what you're doing. There are others who do not have time to help you achieve your goal...and you need the input and assistance of those others in order to be successful. There are some who didn't see the importance of what you were trying to accomplish. You've been saying all along this was important - but you couldn't get anyone else to see the urgency or the importance until too late. And so it's hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait.

And you start to get frustrated. You start to feel useless and ineffectual. You start to wonder what you're doing and why you care so very much...but you do, because that's your nature. You want to be successful, both in your own endeavors and in assisting people make something a reality, help build something of value. That is part of what defines you - being a part of helping build things of value.

And all the while you have this huge event in your life that's putting a very real time line on things - the birth of your daughter. It's given you a deadline that won't change. It's like a big brick wall that's going to stop all of your other efforts you've been working so very hard toward. You didn't mean it to be that way. You don't want to be one of those women who uses being a mother as an excuse to be less effective in other spheres of your life. But its there - and it's happening - and it scares you that somehow if you fail in this endeavor it will be your last chance to be a useful and trustworthy member of anything other than the Mommy sphere. And that's not what you want.

You realize that being a Mother is the most important thing you'll ever do, every kick she gives you reminds you of the amazing change you're about to go through and that now someone will rely on you for safety, for security, for love, warmth, for her very existence.
You also know that you have worked hard to get where you are - and you don't want that to be over.
You want to continue to be an equal contributor to the bottom line for your family.
You feel protective of the family you and your husband are building and you want to protect their financial future.
You're scared of the economy and what not being successful might mean.

And you just don't know what to do about it....you feel so lost and for the first time you understand what other women talk about when they talk about the fear of being a mother, not just the excitement.

The fear of what that means for the financial security of your life.
The fear of not being everything you know you can be.

And it's frustrating.
And scary.
And so very where I'm at right this very moment.

Turkey Tales...

Well...I'm back from my Turkey Day adventures.

I have no pictures to share, just yet, because I don't have my own camera and thus am relying on the generosity of friends and family to send me their pictures. :::hint hint:::

Thanksgiving was a wonderful day, spent with my Dad and Stepmom, brother Drew and his family, and sister Bree and her boyfriend Jonanan (I mean Jonathan....but my nephew used to call him Jonanan and it's stuck in my head). My parents' best friends Robert and Carol were also there for the fun. Nothing is as wonderful as good food and family laughter.

Friday wasn't as much fun, unfortunately. I have really bad luck with cars, it would seem. I was headed from my Dad's house (in the outlying town of Caldwell) to my Mom's house (in Boise). I stopped by my mom's branch to say hello, pick up the cake for the baby shower (that needed to be kept refrigerated), and have her remind me of the garage code. I was driving my parent's PT Whoser (another newphewism).

I got to my Mom's and the garage code didn't work. It turns out the battery in the garage key pad had run out. : So, I decided to head back to my Mom's work and pick up the key. It's about noon and Maddy is telling me she's hungry, so I pull through the McDonald's drive through for some Fries. Apparently that was a bad idea, because as I was pulling away from the drive through, someone parked to the right of me backed right into the car. My parent's car. That I was driving. Crap. Nothing makes you feel worse that having something like that happen to you. In your parent's car. Hello...feelings of teenagehood all over again. Even though it's not my fault and I know they won't be mad at me. 16 all over again. And not in a good way.

Dude comes out of his car apologizing all over himself - and as I'm prying the belly out of the car, he sees that I'm pregnant, the color drains from his face. I sort of felt sorry for him - but not really - he just hit me. In my parent's car! UGH! After a call or two to my parents (hello...I couldn't find the insurance and registration that was right in front of my face), we exchange information (the police do not come to accidents without injury on private property :( :( ). The PT Whooser and I limp away (it's going to be okay - it wasn't major damage, at least I don't think it was) and instead of going to my Mom's office, I go to my brother's house down the street.

My 6 year old nephew (of Jonanan and PT Whooser fame) is still in his kiddy boxers playing video games when I get there. I tease him for hanging out in his "underwears", but really, I'm jealous that it's nearly 1 and he's still in his underwear. Those days are gone for me, unfortunately ;) I hang out there until my brother and his family needed to leave and then head back to my Mom's. It's like 3:30 by this point and Mom, who gets off at 4:30 should be home at any time. I have my book and a car that's warm....and the cake, oh yeah, THE CAKE! I hadn't noticed it'd fallen off the back seat onto it's side. Luckily it survived the crash for the most part....but DANG!

Only...Mom doesn't get off at 4:30. Mom doesn't get off till 5:30, so I'm sitting there till nearly 6. And it's dark now and I can't read any more :::queue pitiful, poor me music right here::: When Mom shows up (I hadn't called her, no reason to panic her - there was nothing she could do) and we head into the house, she looks at the door to find it unlocked. The entire time. The front door was open. I could have come in before the accident. To a warm house. And food. And a couch to nap on.

::::banging pregnant head against wall::::::

Ahhhh...luck. It wasn't with me on Friday.

Saturday I has a wonderful day with my dear friend Martha and my family. Once again, people were too generous to Maddy and she truly now has too many clothes to wear. Seriously. No more clothes. Unless they're 9 months or bigger. They won't get worn. Promise.

Sunday came too quickly and I had to fly back home - which was both sad (I hate leaving my family) and happy (I missed my husband a LOT!!!!)

And now here it is Tuesday already.

And I'm having a baby in like 7 weeks. 7 WEEKS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can pass the brown paper bag now, I think I might hyperventilate.

I'm Leeeeeeeavin..

on a jet plane!!!

I'm going home to Idaho, yahoooooo!!!! I'm really looking forward to it. With the crazy events of this year, every single trip I planned to take home got cancelled - either because of a medical issue or bad timing.

Thankfully, my OB said I could fly home for Turkey Day - the conversation went something like this:

Me: "Dr. S, I really want to go home for Turkey Day"

Dr. S: "Well go then....how long of a drive is it, two, three hours?" (She's from the South and came up here after Katrina)

Me: "Ummm, no - it's 9 hours driving in the winter, I'd like to fly, it's only an hour flight"

Dr. S: "And who exactly will be taking you to the airport?"

Me: "My honey, of course"

Dr. S: "And who will be picking you up?"

Me: "My dad, probably"

Dr. S: "And you promise not to life a single bag....and no carry ons except your purse?"

Me: "Absolutely"

Dr. S: "And you'll go to the local hospital and have them call me if a single thing even seems strange?"

Me: "Of course..."

Dr. S: "Well....okay then...but this is it, little lady - after this, I don't want you more than an hour from the hospital, in traffic!"

And with that....I'm off!!!!! And I'm especially excited that I'll get to see my BFF from high school. It's been YEARS since we've actually been in Idaho at the same time and were there long enough at the same time to be able to see each other! Although, I think it entirely unfair that we see each other when she's looking all hot (she's been working out like a fiend with her own personal trainer...as chronicled in her heeeeeeelairous blog) and I'm 8 freakin months pregnant (and the only hot look I've got is the one I get when I'm having a hot flash).

She better not bail on me for our 20th High School reunion, she owes me now.

At any rate....Happy Thanksgiving my friends - despite the economy and the events of the world, we have a lot to be thankful for!

32 Weeks...

That's 8 months people.

That's astonishing to me - where has the time gone?!?! And Maddy keeps growing and growing (and letting me know aaaaaaall about how much room she has in there).

This week she's the size of a Jicama...

And for an upclose and personal look at her little face during my 28 (4 weeks ago!!!!) week ultrasound...here's her face. I must put a disclaimer that my husband hates these pictures, they weird him out, so I promised him I wouldn't post tons of them. I personally think she has an adorable nose and tiny cute little lips!

Maddy's Room!!!!!

Goofball Moves

Well howdy there dear readers…. I know I’ve been the silent blogger as of late. Things have continued to be a little hectic in my world and by the time I have time to blog, I’m exhausted and it’s not part of what I want to be doing. I’m lame, I know.

On the home front, I had my baby shower a week ago. It was AMAZING! We have so many cute outfits for our little munchkin…we can’t wait to have her here (not early…on time would be fine…even late…yes, I’m still saying I could go a week or two late and be okay) to dress up. I’ll post more about it when I have some pictures – I’m waiting for some wonderful friends who took tons of photos to get some to me J But mostly, it’s amazing to have such a network of women that you know are going to love your little girl. It makes a pregnant mama sniffle back a few tears.

George has gotten some good news… Jim and I had noticed that he was walking pretty tenderly these days, and rarely joining us upstairs. So, my wonderful husband (he’s been SO helpful around the house lately, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him and I’m really dreading him going back to work in January….I’ll miss his companionship and help when he goes back to a hard core work schedule) took Georgie to the vet. She gave him some medicine we’ve been trying and it’s like a whole new kitty! His joints obviously aren’t hurting his as much; he’s much more playful, coming up stairs, acting like his normal Georgie self.

The BEST news is that the heart murmur she heard about a year ago is non-existent!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jim acted like he was disappointed, he always likes to tease me that he’s anti-cat…but I know how much he loves Georgie….so whatever J
We’ve finally finished Maddy’s nursery!!! I’ll be taking pictures to post tonight, but it’s done! Well…one proviso – the shades we ordered were cut incorrectly – so the manufacturer is resending them – but all the hardware is up, so we just have to pop them in. And…we’re thinking about changing out the light fixture – it’s a big room with one itty bitty light in the ceiling – drives me nuts – but floor lamps used in a toddler’s room are a bad idea. We’ll see if that gets changed out or not.

But the event that causes the title of the post – oiy – thank goodness for AAA.
Yesterday, Jimmy and I were out running errands and stopped for gas. He got out; put the keys in the middle console. He needed my help, so I got out; shut the door, with my purse inside. SOMEHOW (and we don’t know if I hit the lock button or when he tossed the keys in the console he hit the lock button) we got locked out. At the gas station. In the cold. With no jackets. With no phone. And I’m 8 months pregnant. Luckily, Jim had his wallet in his back pocket, so we had our AAA card. We asked the store if we could use their phone and called them. 45 minutes (and about 2 seconds to get in) later, we were back in our car…little icicles…..and headed for home. I was supposed to go to a party, but with that little side line, I wasn’t able to go – I was frozen and would have been an hour late.

So, I hung at home with my honey – which is honestly my favorite thing to do – outside of shopping with my Sisters-in-Law (which I did this weekend….I so big pink puffy heart them).

And on the topic of people I big pink puffy heart….I want to mention how much I am in love with my husband. He is so supportive and so wonderful and it’s really an amazing feeling to know that there is someone who loves you most in the world and will always be there to take care of you. We still have our issues that we work with - and I’m probably more vocal about those things these days…these damn hormones are something wicked (not that they’re not valid points of things we need to work on…but I get more emotional about things quicker) – but all in all…he just warms up my heart and I think the best decision I’ve ever made in my life was to marry him.

Sweet Oliver

It's no secret my sister and I love our animals. Our father often thinks we're absolutely insane - but we understand that about each other. Our animals have been our babies when we weren't able to have babies in our lives. My cats have been every where with me - and to this day, I still feel guilty that I wasn't able to afford to do more for Cassie at the end of her life. And George...I would scale mountains for that cat. He is my constant companion and has been for the last 14 years. He's even won my husband over - and that's saying something...

So - when my sister contacted me in tears yesterday, it broke my heart to know she was going to have to put her sweet Oliver down. He's just a baby, only five years old....but he developed a very, very rapid tumor on his spine that left him in severe pain and completely disabled within a matter of a week of it's discovery.

So, to honor that sweet boy - and all of us who love our pets, I want to show you pictures of Mister Oliver.

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us" ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

I'm Behind!

It's been a hetic two weeks around the Clark household...I've been working some crazy hours trying to keep up with everything going on at work and we've been doing our best to get the nursery all put together (at least...mainly put together, not counting the little decorating touches).
I'll be 30 weeks on Tuesday (HELLO....how did that come up so fast!?!?!) but I wanted to share some of the great photos my husband took two weeks ago when I was 28 weeks.
The complete selection of them is at this site: http://jimandheatherclark.shutterfly.com/babypictures

Tired Tuesday

I haven't been a very good blogger lately - things have just been so hectic at home and at work....I haven't had the energy by the time I have a few minutes. So, today's version of Tuesday's Ten will be 10 things that have happened in the last couple of weeks.

1. We let someone go at work and I am training the replacement. It's all good, but it makes me tired and wasn't *exactly* what I was planning on accomplishing at work in my last three months before maternity leave. :(

2. I seriously love my husband...he has been so wonderful in the last several months. I wasn't sure he was really into playing the role of "supportive husband" during pregnancy - he's been there, done that before. But he's been amazing. Absolutely amazing... Year two of marriage can be much better than year one, sometimes....and it just keeps getting better.

3. I spent last Saturday with my sister in law at a baby fair at our local hospital. It was fun to look at all the little treats and we listened to some awesome speakers. I am really blessed in the sister in law department, I have some really amazing ones.

4. Speaking of sisters in law, we've figured out our child care for when I go back to work. My other sister in law will be watching Maddy every day. I'm so excited on so many levels. I now have a good excuse to see my sister in law every day. Yea! My little girl will be cared for by an aunt that will absolutely adore and cherish her. Yea! Maddy will grow really close to her cousins, which is really, really important to me. I'm really looking forward to watching the kids grow up together. What fun!

5. If I were a stock buying sort of girl, I'd buy stock in milk right now. It's about the only thing that calms the acid in the tummy these days. Tums are okay, but milk reeeeeally helps.

6. I am now officially in my third trimester. That's just weird to me....I'm no longer the newly pregnant girl on the maternity block. Where did the time go?!?!?!

7. I'm starting to learn the finer details of rules and penalties in football. It makes watching the games so much more fun.

8. Jim and I have been working feverishly on the nursery. We're pretty good at it, even with me being pregnant and him having a lame wing. The paint is done - I'm just waiting for one of my mothers in law to help me with the chair rail. Yea :) We actually may be done before the baby shower! That'd be awesome!

9. I'll be reeeeeeally glad when elections are over. I'm more politically interested than a lot of people, but I'm super sick of the commercials at this point. They all lie. They all cheat. They all tell stories that are exaggerated....some are just less evil than others.

10. I only have to wake up three more times before I can sleep in, and for that, I'm grateful.

Me Today...

24 Weeks

From two weeks ago...

Tuesday's Ten

1. I am officially 6 and 1/2 months pregnant. This pregnancy seems to be flying by now that I'm obviously pregnant.

2. Someone tried to cut in front of several of us in line for the bus this morning - and it's a crowded bus, that would mean no seat for the pregnant lady - and when I said something to her, instead of acting like a normal person, she got quite irate (or to be more descriptive, "all up in my face", quite literally...I thought she might try to hit me) and told me to "mind my bidness and shut it". Umm...that's not even a word, bidness.

3. I think that if it were healthy, I could give up all food and drink nothing but juices and milk for the next couple of months and be perfectly happy. I've never been so thirsty for a variety of liquids in my life.

4. I'm halfway done with painting Maddy's room and it looks great so far!

5. Work has gotten REALLY busy (someone left the team and I have to pick up the pieces in the meantime) just as I'm starting to get tired again...and that's hard. Case in point, I took a three hour nap when I got home from work last night, got up, welcomed my husband home, and went back to bed. And I'm still wishing I could have worked from home and slept in today.

6. I don't like fresh tomatoes. Cooked, I'll eat them all day long. But fresh? Bleh :{

7. I'm ridiculously excited for Grey's Anatomy tomorrow night....Thursday is my favorite TV night ever.

8. I'm still waiting for my best friend from high school, Martha, to update us all on her date on Saturday night. SO much so, I'm going to publicly call her out on it in my blog. :P Spill woman. You don't have to blog about it, but email me at least!

9. If you ever catch me laughing out loud at my computer, it's probably an email from one of my dearest buddies Deborah. She has the best sense of humor EVER and can email the funniest comments about any lil ole topic. I think she has a true gift to make people laugh the way she does.

10. My friends are such a blessing to me - my friend Tami, whom I constantly miss but often am not able to get together with nearly as often as I'd like, posted a beautiful posting about forever friends - and it made me tear up because I realized she's one of those to me....and so much better at keeping in touch than I am.

20 Bucks

Things have gone crazy in my work life….I'll try to blog something about my "real" life tonight...I've got new baby bump pictures, I've got pictures of Maddy's room half painted….I'm just swamped.

In the meantime, my friend Moe sent this to me and I love it…

"$20.00"

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, 'Who would like this $20 bill?. Hands started going up. He said, 'I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, 'Who still wants it?' Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, 'What if I do this?' And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. 'Now, who still wants it?' Still the hands went into the air.

 

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.

 

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.. It was still worth $20.

 

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it.'

New Tip!

I'm sitting in the middle of a SharePoint training class and just learned you can link Outlook 2007 to your different blog sites and publish blogs DIRECTLY FROM WORD! Holy easy, batman!!!!!!!!!! Yet another reason to upgrade to Office 2007 – that's new favorite tip!! Don't say I never told you anything useful ;).

Wordless Wednesday

Your baby rivals the average rutabaga in weight -- about 1 1/2 pounds. (Length: 13 1/2 inches, head to heel.)

Rainy Days

and Mondays always get me down.

I've always loved that Carpenter's song...in fact I sang it in the Boise Chapter Sweetheart competition (I won, thank you very much) when I was 14.

And rainy days don't get me down - I rather like them (that's good, seeing that I live in the Puget Sound). But Mondays...those get me down.

Especially this Monday. The pregnancy hormones are just raging - and I'm alternating between feeling sad, feeling overwhelmed with a general does of overall weariness.

I'm just not sleeping very well - and after a few weeks of that, it just seeps into your bones and it's hard to get rid of that weary feeling.

And my poor husband - I'm over reacting to things. What would normally be mild annoyance sets me off into major anger. I hate that. And I hate that I can't seem to control that. It makes me want to crawl into my bed and just hide from the world...which is exactly what I did last night before my very loving husband came up and rubbed my back until I was calm enough to sleep at least a little bit.

Don't get me wrong, I love being pregnant and I am excited for Maddy to get here, but this is a part of pregnancy I don't love so much.

:(

Time Warp...

It's just a jump to the left.
And then a step to the right.
Put your hands on your hips.
You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.
Let's do the time warp again!
Let's do the time warp again!

One of the girls I *adore* (who incidently, is having a baby boy due on the day before Maddy is due) on my parenting/newlywed chat board pointed this out to us...and it's a hoot!...

http://www.yearbookyourself.com/

Here are a few of my shots ;)

1958....I always said I wanted to be Donna Reid...and I actually think my grandmother Vi rocked this look in pictures I have of her.

1968 - circa my Mom being in college - I think she rocked this look, and I'd have been a damn hot co-ed.

1970 - I always wanted to wear big clunky pearls...

1974 - the year after I was born....trying my hand at Cher-izing my look.

1982 - I actually think I had something similar to this "do" in 7th grade (always a day late..) - I would have been in 6th grade-ish in 82.

1984....I would have been smack dab in Junior High...and *wishing* I looked this cool.

1990 - Rockin the mall bangs....the year before I graduated from high school.

1996 - I'd have been in Korea in this time frame - and actually have a hair style similar to this now :::blush::::

Juice Me

The jones for the juice continues..... All I can think about is Jamba. And I've been trying others, to see if it's just the Jamba that works or it's any smoothie. So for, Jamba wins out.

I tried a "smoothie" from Jack in the Box. BLEH - unless you like super sweet Orange Juiliuses (and I don't). I tried one from Red Robin - and it was "okay" - but no Jamba. I even made one at home...and it was gooood, but it wasn't a Jamba.

I want my Jamba.

In other news....no sooner than I posted I was afraid I wouldn't feel her kick on the outside, Maddy came through, on Daddy's birthday, nonetheless. Unfortunately, Daddy was passed out on the couch (he wasn't feeling well) and thus missed Maddy's little birthday present. Oh well...it at least gives me hope that we'll get there and he will be able to feel them.

It was pretty cool though...I thoroughly enjoyed it.

But on to my MOST EXCITING FAMILY NEWS!!! My sister in law is pregnant again!!! I'm so excited, I just can't stand it! I'd been really excited that Maddy and her little cousin Kaycee would be so close in age. Kaycee will turn a year old in November, so she'd be a little over a year older than Maddy. Kaycee's mom and dad (my brother and sister in law) thought they'd through caution to the wind, expecting that it'd take 8 or 9 months like it did last time.....but life had other plans for them and they're pregnant their first month!! We're expecting another little cousin for Maddy sometime in May/June. Now that's close in age!!!! Yipeeeee!! I'm not so secretly hoping it's another girl so all the little girls can play together :) :)

And finally, just because I have to brag on them a bit....ESPN showed the BSU Broncos in our cable market last night....and I got to watch them spank LA Tech. Yes, the same Broncos who spanked Oklamhoma in that now famous Fiesta Bowl game. The same Broncos that spanked Oregon last weekend.

Why do I go on, you ask? My husband and I have an outstanding debate in our house. I personally think BSU should be invited to join the Pac-10 - they're ready - and there is no way to get better than to enter a better conference and play tough schools. Jim always teases me that they have no business in the Pac-10, that it'd be a joke (I think he plays it up just to get me heated up). WELL...MISTER DOUBTER....being that the current Pac-10 teams include a team holding OPEN TRY OUTS in the middle of the season for a Quarterback and another team who's roster is so injured and is doing so badly that there's talk of firing the coach due to their losing record, I think BSU could hold their own...

Wordless Wednesday

Your baby has caught up with an ear of corn in size and gained about 1/4 pound since last week. (Length: almost a foot.)

Tuesday's Ten

1. Today is my husband's birthday. I adore him so much - what a beautiful day to celebrate his existance.

2. I'm having an U/S today - I can't wait to see Maddy again!!! I hope she's filled out more and we get a good face shot.

3. The only disapointment I've had thus far with this pregnancy is that I can't feel her kick on the outside of me yet. It's a silly worry - but I worry that because I was heavy to begin with, I never will feel it on the outside - and that means Jim won't get to either.

4. I had gooooood Korean food at a party my girlfriend had last weekend. And OMG - it's been TOO long. I seriously could have eaten the entire tray of Chop Chay. I even looked to see if I had the recipe in my Korean cookbook I've never used. I might have to try my hand at making some (minus the mushrooms for my DH).

5. I *hate* it when I take my wedding ring off (when I'm working on a project that's nasty) and then forget to put it back on before I go to work. A. I *adore* that physical link to my wedding day and B. I feel naked without it.

6. I cry when I break a nail. It is such hard work for me to keep them long, naturally.

7. I have a REALLY BIG SECRET about a family member and I can't wait till the news breaks so I can share it publically.

8. I miss my little sister alot - and that's new for us - and it feels good, but doesn't make me feel any better for the missing part.

9. I'm nervous for that time, after Maddy is born, when Jim goes back to work and my Mom is gone, that I will be a basket case. I hope I'm able to take a shower every day and look decent.

10. This financial meltdown our country is in scares me. Big time. I do not do well with financial insecurity.... But it makes me feel so much better to know that no matter what happens, if we had to sell our house and move into a smaller one, if we had to do whatever, that I'd have my husband with me to weather the storm.

Jamba Jonesin...

After a little bit of a blogging break, I'm back :) I've been working pretty hard on the dresser I'm refinishing for Maddy. I hope, one day, when she's an adult, she knows what a freakin labor of love this is... Just when I thought I would be done, I screwed up one side of it - and now I'm going to have to re-strip that side, sand it back down and paint it again.

Ugh....

BUT - on to something entirely more interesting....

I wouldn't say I've had any *weird* cravings. I certainly have foods I've been more drawn to - bananas at first, eggs, milk (which I guess is weird for me - I've never been a milk drinker), anything liquid - I'm always thirsty... But I haven't had any foods that made me think, "if I don't get this, I'm going to die. Right here, on the spot. Die."

That's finally happened - and it's in the form of some good ole Jamba Juice.

It's all I can think about!!!

I've scanned their website looking at the different lovely conconctions and for local locations.

I'd eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner - which actually wouldn't be *all* that unhealthy if I added a salad in with lunch a dinner. I mean, they have protein "blasts" to add to it so you're getting your protein. That's good enough, right? Seriously though, I had one on Saturday and my mouth is watering as I type thinking about it. I hear the words repeated in my head, like a tribal drum, "Jambaaaa Juuuuice, Jambaaaaaa Juuuuuice".

My husband isn't a big fan of us eating out - I pack my lunch 90% of the time and we don't visit restaurants often....but I'm telling you, in the name of all that is holy, I think I might have to give in to this craving for the duration of my pregnancy or I might go insane.

Wordless Wednesday

Your baby weighs about as much as a large mango -- just over a pound. (Length: more than 11 inches.)

Tuesday's Ten

1. I'd like to learn to crochet, but I don't have enough time these days.
2. I still haven't printed up a single wedding photo :(
3. I can't wait to start making fall soups and eating lots of sweet potatoes. Foodwise, fall is my favorite!
4. I often daydream I'm that little girl from Out of this World. I'd love to be able to stop time, do my thing, and then restart it. I think I'd nap for a week - at least. Oh, and organize my recipes, clean the house, put together our wedding album, and hang everything on the walls I've been meaning to hang forever. And maybe rob a bank. Well...I really shouldn't do that.
5. My biggest craving these days is Orange sherbert.
6. I'm often tempted to eat sweets just to make Maddy start kicking.
7. I've had the same hotmail address for 17 years. 17 years!!!!!
8. If I could have any job in the world and money weren't an issue, I'd teach 3rd grade.
9. I have gift certificates from our wedding that I still haven't used. Thank goodness there's no expiration date!!
10. I write down snazzy phrases I hear in business meetings so I can use them at a later date. My latest is..."this is the information/idea that has been socialized".

Surgery Soldier

My husband really is a trooper....we went through his second experience with rotator cuff surgery last Wednesday. It went much better than the surgeon had given us hope for - so that's excellent news! It turns out the tear was MUCH smaller than they thought - the issues were stemming from a huge build up of scar tissue that they were able to remove. We're hoping with this removal and intense therapy, he'll be good as new.

So, while he's not as sore as last time, he's still in a lot of pain - and bored out of his gourd. I feel so bad for him....I just want to snuggle him constantly to take away the pain and frustration.

Needless to say, I was doing some around the clock care last Wenesday, Thursday, and Friday. Waking up every three hours is so no fun.....oiy....and I know it's just a small taste of what I'm in for. Thank GOODNESS I'll have a few months off. I tried to work on Thursday - but it just wasn't happening.

On Friday - I was able to slip away to the Journey concert I had ticket for....it was a blast!!!! But lordy, I cannot stomach cigarette smoke anymore. It gave me a HUGE headache I have yet to get rid of. That was the only downer...wonderful venue, I love open air ampitheaters - but the smoke was terrible.

Saturday, we ordered our glider - yeah!!! It'll be here in 6 - 8 weeks, and I think I may start sleeping in it if Jim doesn't - I keep waking up flat on my back, and I know that's not good.

I also started work on refinishing the dresser we bought Maddy. FIL Ron let me borrow his painting mask. It makes me look like a cross between The Fly and a thermal nuclear war survivor....but it keeps the fumes out, which is what I need. I got almost everything stripped before I needed to use a new bottle of stripper - which neither Jim or I could open, darn it anyway. So, tonight, I'm taking it back to Lowe's and if they can't open it, I'm exchanging it for a bottle I CAN open.

So that's the quick (for me) update of the last several days....yeah for Monday's :

Wordless Wednesday

Your baby has stretched to the size of a spaghetti squash and weighs almost a pound

Tuesday's Ten

This Tuesday, I'm going to tell you 10 things you may or may not know about me:

1. Every season we have, I think, "this is my favorite season!". I love them all, for various reasons, it seems.

2. I'm consider voting for a Republican govenor for the first time in my life ::::gasp::::

3. Sometimes I sleep better when my husband works nights. I've slept in a Queen size bed by myself for too long. We seriously need a super king! (But I always go to sleep missing him and wake up missing him :( )

4. I'm going to make an eggplant recipe for my husband someday and not tell him it's got eggplant in it. He falsely believes he doesn't like eggplant.

5. Ironing clothes is my least favorite chore.

6. I don't really want to run for anything on my Homeowner's Association board of directors, but my husband wants me to, so I'm giving in :

7. Now that I have a husband and a house, I realize how lazy I was when I was single living in an apartment.

8. I thought I was a good gardener, but I'm not.

9. I'm a closet easy jazz lover....it's so calming to me!!

10. I love to daydream about remodeling our house.

Busy Beavers

This weekend we were busy little beavers! I've been a little nervous and a little stressed about Jim's impending surgery and not having him to help me around the house... so after a hormonal breakdown or two, we spent the majority of Saturday moving Jordan's "little girl" furniture into the garage, moving the adult furniture (smaller desk, bigger bed) from the spare bedroom into the skiddo's room and clearing out the spare bedroom.

It was a lot of hard work and I was glad we were able to get some help from one of my husband's dear friends, Aldo, and his step-dad (along with offers to mow the yard after this week...yea!).

I was really pleased with how the skiddo's bedroom shaped up. It's still hers, but we're set up now such that other people can use it as they need to. In fact, I think right now it might be my favorite room in the house. I'm to a place where everything left are things I can safely lift, the furniture I need to paint is positioned such that I can do that, and I just need figure out when Jody (my step mother in law) and I are going to paint. The room is actually taking shape! YIPEEEE!!!

Sunday, Jim worked in the garage (and did a fantastic job of cleaning more things out, it looks great!) and I went with my BFF (Sue, the bow hating wench) and my sister in law Jessica to Babies R Us to register. Wheeeeeeeeeee...what fun! I was a little overwhelmed at times (hello...the wall of bottles - what the heck do you get when you're going to try to breastfeed, but know you'll have to use your breastmilk in a bottle when you go back to work...the options are endless!), but that's why I brought two experienced moms with me. So now I'm all registered...Babies R Us for the majority of things, Amazon.com for the things (like the rest of my bedding!) that I can't get at BRU.

The day was great, until we finished our late lunch, at which point I started experiencing my first go round with Braxton Hicks contractions along with some pretty severe intestinal rebellion. Here's where pregnancy gets really fun....severe gas pain and BH is not fun when experienced at the same time. In fact, it's downright painful....and it was during this experience that I realized that if I can't handle gas pain and BH without medication (which I was sorely wishing I had something...ANYTHING...to make it stop), then perhaps natural childbirth was not for me.

Not that I was planning on going all natural. But I'm pretty darn sure at this point I don't wanna.

By the time we got home, I was feeling downright miserable and had to cancel my evening plans...our annual summer movie with my beloved "Bookies". I felt especially terrible because I was the person that was supposed to pick up the Thai food we'd all been craving. But 45 minutes before I was supposed to be there, I was still extremely uncomfortable and not really wanting to be anywhere but my own little house.

That was a bit of a downer :( but, the right thing to do for Maddy and me (and poor Jimmy who wanted me to stay home with him anyway, since I'd been gone all day).

So...here it is Monday and the week has started again....I'm nervous for Jim's surgery on Wednesday. I want to know that he's going to come out with a repaired shoulder that's going to stay repaired so he can recover and go on with life without feeling so much pain. Keep us in your thoughts :)

Big Bucks

I just saw an interesting challenge on a friend Lisa's blog (one of my very alltime FAVORITE blogs to read- she's such an amazing person and so insightful, so funny, so adventurous, I just adore her). It got me to thinking - especially today in rememberance of all those folks who died 7 years ago and would trade places with us willingly (big bucks or no big bucks)...what would I do?

So here's the challenge:

If you had a million bucks and you had to allocate it immediately - how would you spend it?

Here's mine:


$200,000.00 Pay off the House

$150,000.00 Help family with their debt

$16,000.00 Pay off Line of Credit

$150,000.00 Remodel the house

$400,000.00 Retirement Investments

$10,000.00 Trip through Europe

$15,000.00 Save for Jordan's College

$15,000.00 Invest for Maddy's College

$15,000.00 Save for Baby #2's College

$9,000.00 Take "honeymoon" to Bonaire

$20,000.00 Pay for my honey to go back to college and finish his degree in whatever he'd like so he doesn't have to drive for UPS any more

Book Worm

Carrot Top

I keep hoping that our little one ends up with curly red hair and green eyes. The green eyes from me, the curly red hair and freckles from her daddy. My grandfather had brilliant, beautiful red hair when he was young - and the day he met my Mister he said, "there's hope for a red-headed grandbaby, yet!".

My husband had serious red hair when he was a kid. He was a look alike for Opie from Mayberry RFD. No lie. Those were the first words out of my mouth when I saw pictures of him.

That being the case, today's 21 week picture made me chuckle....whether she ends up with red hair or not, at one point, I did have a carrot top ;)

Your baby -- currently the length of a carrot -- weighs about 3/4 of a pound. (Length: 10 1/2 inches, head to heel.)

Family Relations

I miss my dad and brother today. I miss them most days - but today, I'm really feeling it. There are so many things I'm going to need the "heavy muscle" for once my husband has his surgery....and his family is fantastic and would pitch in anytime we needed them...without a doubt.

But it's just not the same as having my daddy and my big brother around. Whenever I'm with them, they make me feel safe - to sound like my (still) teenage stepdaughter - "they've got my back". And I don't feel as awkward asking... They're my dad and brother, they'd be there the instant I called - just as I would for them.

I guess that's more a me thing. I just don't like asking for help. I want to be able to do everything on my own....and when I can't, I'm really uncomfortable asking. When the shoe is on the other foot and a friend needs help, I'm honored when they ask. But for some reason, I just don't like asking for myself. I guess I feel more comfortable asking my family because they've known me forever...and despite our normal fights and troubles along the way, I'm sure of their unconditional love. This is not to say that my husband's family doesn't love me...we're just not there in our relationship yet. It's still sort of new. I don't want to trouble them with things...

This tendency of mine has been a hard thing for my husband and I to work through. He has this thing about me doing certain things around the house - anything "manly" like hanging things on the wall, mowing the yard, weed eating. It can drive me nuts. He just doesn't like me doing it. And me, I'm used to doing it all. It may not be how HE does it, but it gets done. I thought for the longest time it was that he didn't trust me (and when it comes to hanging things, he doesn't **rolling my eyes**). But really, the issue was that those were things that he felt like HE should be doing - not his wife. It's part of his "this is my family and I'll care for them" mentality.

Anyway - as I mentally listed the things to do in the coming months this weekend, I thought, "man, I really, really wish I had *my* boys here.

On a lighter note...we had a fantastic weekend with our family. We got to hang out on Saturday night with everyone and on Sunday with my sister in law and her 10 month little one for a photoshoot with Uncle Jimmy. As soon as I have pictures to post of that, I will - they're adorable!

And on a pregnancy note...suddenly and without warning, major heartburn.

Tums...they're my new friend.

My Friends...

Whatever would a girl do without her friends....whether they love baby bows or not....they're priceless.

I think one of the most humbling feelings in the world is to know that you are well and truly loved.

Oh - and Happy Birthday Sue....you bow-hating wenchy wench ;)

Me Tarzan...

For the first trimester of my pregnancy (and then some...really), my best "go to" food were bananas. I knew they wouldn't make me sick and they'd be easy my stomach. They were my cure all, really, as they were the only thing I could eat some days.

So much so, that my family joked I was having a monkey, not a baby. Imagine my sigh of relief at the 11 week ultrasound where there was definately a human shape in there, not a blob or a primate.

So...that having been said, the baby size comparison for this 20th week had me laughing....

Your baby has grown as big as a banana. (Length: about 6 1/2 inches from head to bottom, and 10 inches from head to heel.)

Those measurements sound a little bit smaller than what our doctor told us at the 18 week appointment. She said Madelyn was about 10 inches head to heel then...so I think we've got a tall baby on our hands!

In other news....I went shopping last night. The Carter's Outlet by our house was having a HUGE 50 - 70% off sale - so I just had to go!!! I think I was fairly restrained - I bought two newborn sleeper outfits, a couple of 3 - 6 month sleeper outfits, a couple of 6 - 9 month outfits, and a couple of 9 - 12 month outfits - all for sixty dollars!!!!!

I also *had* to peek my head into Gymboree - and as luck would have it, they were ALSO having a 50% off sale. I bought the CUTEST mini skirt with matching leggings and two different coordinating tops (one an adorable pink sweater to wear over a onsie and one SUPER adorable pink vest with brown cordoroy trim)....I just couldn't pass it up. And as my friend Deborah said, "really, this is part of the fun of being a first time mom!". I couldn't agree more!! ;)

And, I just have to let my husband (though he never reads my blog...) know how much I love him :) As you may or may not have heard, he's torn his rotator cuff in the exact same spot again and will have to have surgery. Our consult with his surgeon to schedule is on September 11th. So, we're starting to cut out some of the extraneous (read: not baby related) expenses in our lives, including our house cleaner. Selfishly, I'm bummed. It's nice to come home to a house that has been cleaned all at once, without my help. My mister, understandably, won't be able to help once he's had the surgery....so I'll be pregnant, having to take on the cleaning, and the chores he normally does. However, ya do what ya gotta do....so for now, it's ixnay on the ousecleanerhay.

I think the mister was feeling a little sorry for me, because when I came home last night....he'd cleaned the bathrooms AND unloaded the dishwasher...what a guy! Of course, he told me that I owed him $100 bucks....but I reminded him that if I'd gotten paid for every time I'd cleaned the entire house, he might not like the total ;)

At any rate - it was a very sweet thing to do and I love him for it...among other reasons I'm keeping him around ;)

And finally - the bow fascination continues - though I've cut down significantly. I did check my growing collection to make sure I had a bow to match each outfit I bought last night (despite my best friend Sue's contention that my child will need therapy....). Yes, I saw that Miss Sue-z-que Malou....and I'm going to make EXTRA sure she's always wearing a HUGE bow when you're around. And I love you anway right back. :P

And really...if the only thing my child can complain about in her adult therapy sessions (because you know we all go at so point) in her relationship with her mother is that I put too many bows on her during her infancy, then I've done damn good.

20 Weeks

Cranium Craze

For me...it's all about the bows.

I take that back.

If I'm being honest, it's *really* all about anything baby. But my primary (notice I said primary - I am currently obsessed by all things baby...you name it, I'm researching/thinking about it) obsession this last week was headbands and bows for out little spudette.

Would you really expect anything less from a woman who owns three honest to God, didn't buy them at a thrift shop for Halloween but actually wore them for a purpose, tiaras?

If you tell me you did, I'd call you a liar. Nicely, of course ;)

My friend Kim turned me to ebaying for headbands - and she created a monster. Well, I shouldn't blame that on her. I was a monster in waiting - she just pointed me toward my outlet (and probably saved my husband money because heaven knows I wouldn't have been able to pass them by in the overpriced baby shops).

My husband's response the first time he saw one of the bows? "Ummm, honey? I think you should run all clothing choices past me before buying them. I don't want our kid to look like an idiot." I just had to laugh. I didn't point out that he relies on me to pick out all of his clothing and thinks, rightly so, that he's quite fashionable. What does he know about baby girl fashions anyway, really? ;)

I think I'm done for the time being - I really need to see some of her outfits before I continue buying - and since I haven't really started clothing shopping for her (I'm sort of waiting till after the shower for that...), I guess I'll have to put off buying any more bows.

Ah well...on to the next obession.

Here is the collection thus far: